Relationships arise in division.
We divide the world into two parts, i.e., ‘I’ on the one hand and ‘you’ / ‘they’ / ‘the others’ / ‘the world’ on the other hand. Once there is division, then arise relationships, how these two parts relate to each other, how ‘I’ relates to everyone else, how ‘I’ relates to the world.
And there are three ways in which these two relate:
(i) greed / acquisition: whatever helps me grow, I must acquire, including money, property and other things and control over people;
(ii) hatred / anger / violence: whatever prevents me from growing must be eliminated / removed from the picture; and
(iii) apathy / indifference: that which neither helps me grow nor prevents me from growing, I am not interested in and I am not bothered by.
All of our relationships, without exception, are governed by these three emotional states.
Dr. Deepak Chopra wrote the book, ‘Unconditional Love’, which I read many years ago and it changed me forever. He is one of the great teachers alive right now. I would suggest everyone interested in understanding themselves and in growing spiritually to read his books, find and listen to him on YouTube or Instagram or wherever and devour every word he says. And he is not paying me to say this. The man is simply rare. He, along with Jiddu Krishnamurti, Osho Bhagwan Rajneesh, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer and Ramana Maharishi, for me, are some of the greatest modern teachers I have come across. Make full use of them. They will take you to the door through which you enter the beyond / the eternal / the divine, just like Jesus, Mohammad, Guru Nanak, Mahavir, Lao Tzu and other great ancient masters will. You will have to walk the path and once you reach the door, you will have to open it and enter alone, but they can show you the direction.
So, back to unconditional love. What is it?
Unconditional love is what you feel towards yourself. Jesus said, “Love your neighbour as yourself”. What was he saying? He was saying the same thing as Dr. Chopra is. You love yourself dearly and you don’t need a reason to love yourself. You don’t tell yourself that if you are able to achieve this thing or that thing, then you will love yourself. No, you just love yourself. Jesus is saying that that’s how you have to love others. Without a reason, unconditionally.
How is that possible? That is possible only and only when you let go of the division between ‘I’ and ‘You’. There is no division. Once you realise that there is no division and that you and the other or you and the whole world are one, then, as a natural consequence, there will be love. No effort will be needed, no spiritual training will be needed. It will not be you loving the world, it will be just you loving yourself. Because, there is no one but you. Only You.
Can you see that? The moment you even begin to see the possibility of this, you have taken the first step towards Dr. Chopra’s ‘Unconditional Love’, Jesus’ Kingdom of Heaven, Buddha’s nirvanaand Mahavira’s moksha.
The three kinds of relationships mentioned above (firstly, greed / acquisition; secondly, hatred / anger / violence; thirdly, apathy / indifference) are empty and fake relationships arising from the illusion of division. Unconditional love is only real kind of relationship (if it may be called that) and it arises from oneness and absence of division.